THESASSONLINE.COM

3.18.2014

Ask The Gay Bestie Presents: HELP! I Don't Want To Let My Family Down




So you know that this month is all about getting advice from our Gay Bestie! This entry really touched our hearts! We really hope it helps the person who submitted the question and our other readers that may be dealing with a similar situation.
Ask The Gay Bestie:

DEAR GAY BESTIE,



I AM 15 YEARS OLD. I GREW UP IN THE CHURCH AND MY GRANDFATHER IS A PASTOR...I HAVE A HUGE SECRET. I AM GAY. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COME OUT TO MY FAMILY. FOR A WHILE I STRUGGLED WITH EVEN ADMITTING IT TO MYSELF. I AM SO SCARED. I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE AND I DON'T WANT TO LET MY FAMILY DOWN. WHAT SHOULD I DO

The Gay Bestie:

Hi Little One,


I pray this finds you well!

Years ago I was in your shoes too. I recall being 15-years old with a few extra pounds struggling to find comfort in my sexuality and skin. The journey that is ahead of you is well worth it I promise. Growing up in the church and living with the pressures of meeting everyone’s expectation is daunting for anyone. (PAUSE) Before I go any further allow me to say how PROUD I am of you for recognizing your truth. You’ve already made the most important step. Standing in your truth is hard for many adults to do and you’ve already surpassed them.

I want you to focus more on yourself and your individual development right now. I know it may sound hard and selfish, but you deserve it. Seeing that you are so concerned with “not hurting anyone” proves you’re aware of compassion. Not to get all biblical on you, but the essence of the bible itself is solely based on the principle of LOVE. As Jesus walked this earth his only example was unconditional love and compassion. Not once did he even mention homosexuality in his entire 33 years. The only one’s whoever discussed homosexuality were human men not Christ himself. Jesus loved all sinners, saints, prostitutes, children and believe or not people like us too.

I heard a few years ago that to be born gay is a blessing. Sounds crazy, right? Well its not. To be born gay is an amazing blessing because already you know what it’s like to be crucified for something you did not choose.  Still somewhere inside you’ve found the compassion to care for other’s feelings. At this point I don’t encourage to come out yet if you feel like it will endanger your livelihood (i.e. homelessness or safety). Begin to slowly love yourself each and everyday. The process is not easy, but I vow you will reach it. To attain this kind of love you will not find it in the arms of another person. You will only learn this through growth and life lessons, but take your time and pay attention my dear.

Lastly, God did not make a mistake on you. He chose you for a reason. I myself come from a spiritual Caribbean family. I thought coming out was going to be the last thing I was going to do. Then I realized along the way God used me to show my family how to love unconditionally. God placed me in a fairly homophobic family to see if they could make space for a child who was actually gay. Now they may not agree with it, but have learned to accept it because being gay is apart of me not who I am.

Tips To My Little One

1.)   You’re not alone! I’m here whenever you may need me! Email me at thegaybestie@gmail.com

2.)   Don’t worry about dating yet. You’re not missing out on anything major I swear

3.)   Remember you are a gift to your family whether they realize it or not. God has already showed you how to love. Now continue to practice the act of genuine love.

4.)   Be compassionate to others who don’t understand you. Try to understand them better.

5.)   Start loving yourself first it’s the best way to set your standards. This shows what you will or will not tolerate of anyone. When you respect yourself other’s follow.

6.)   Ask your Gay Bestie (ME) anything you need to know!


Much Love To You!

We really hope this inspires you all and touches you just like it did all of us! 

We love you all! Keep sending those questions! 

XO

The SASS x The Gay Bestie

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